I’m Kristin. I’m a junior double majoring in PE/Health Education. It was a real challenge for me to decide exactly what I wanted to talk about in regards to my testimony. I don’t have one of those amazing testimonies about being addicted to alcohol or killing 27 people with a wet squirrel and then getting spiritually slapped upside the head by God. However, I did have a drug problem. I got drug to church. I got drug to Sunday school. I got drug to Bible camp…just kidding. I grew up in a Christian home, went to church, Sunday school, youth group, Bible camp, the whole nine yards and always knew about Jesus and His redemptive work on the cross. Not only did I know it, but I believed it with all my heart, soul, and mind. So there’s not really much to report about my life up until my senior year of high school, and I thank God every day that this is the case.
I had my life planned out to the very last detail when I was a senior in high school. I had my major and my school picked out. I applied and got accepted. I registered for classes and was so excited to be done with high school. But the closer the end of the year came some strange things started happening. My friends seemed to be distancing themselves from me. Most of them were not Christians, but they were ok with me being one. I remember sitting in my chair on graduation day with a very conflicting thought. I knew God didn’t want me to go to the school I had already been accepted to…but I still wanted to. So then what? A few weeks later some of my older friends asked me about my future plans. (The million dollar question when you’re a senior, right?) All of these friends were alumni of this Bible school in Plymouth, MN called the Association Free Lutheran Bible School, better known as AFLBS. And being good alumni they asked me if I ever considered going. Being raised in the Association of Free Lutheran Congregations, I always knew about AFLBS, but never thought it was the place for me. So I was wrong? Give me a break! While at Bible school I experienced the best fellowship I’d thought only existed either at my house or church functions. I was surrounded by Christians 24/7 and sat under the tutelage of very godly men and women. On graduation day at Bible school, I sat in my chair with a very encouraging thought: I was going back to “the world” with the promises found in Isaiah 55: 10-12, “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there without watering the earth and making it bear and sprout, and furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater; so will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; it will not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it. For you will go out with joy and be led forth with peace; the mountains and the hills will break forth into shouts of joy before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.”
After Bible school, I transferred to a community college in Minnesota and hated every second of it. The cliché “feeling alone in a crowd full of people” became the story of my life. I went round after round with professors and students about Christianity. I got a pretty good idea about just how lost this world is. Through these struggles, I found comfort in verses like Ephesians 6:10, “Finally be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.” However, after being at this new school for a year and a half, I knew it was time for a change. I wasn’t growing in my faith anymore. I honestly felt like I was a war-torn soldier that wasn’t useful for battle anymore. I had to go somewhere that would help me heal. I started researching schools and narrowed my choices down to three: Bemidji State University, UND, and NDSU. I scheduled campus visits for all three schools, but only ended up going to one, because I only needed to go to one. After my campus visit at this particular school, I went to a meeting called Campus Crusade for Christ. And it pretty much rocked my socks off. I don’t remember what the speaker talked about or even who the speaker was, but I remember knowing that this was the place for me. The fellowship I missed from Bible school was found again! (For those of you that are a little slow, the school I chose is NDSU!)
I’ve been here for a year now, and once again I find myself in this spot where I’m not sure what God is up to. To make a really long story short, I came to the conclusion last semester that I needed to take this semester off to work full time and sort some things out. It’s my plan to return to school next fall and continue with my PE/Health double major…but we all know how my plans go, right? In my personal one on one with Jesus time a while back I came across Proverbs 31:25, and since then it’s become my life verse. Words cannot describe how applicable it is to my life. “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.” –Proverbs 31:25.
When I was 8 years old I asked Jesus to come into my life. Although I had Jesus in my life and knew a ton of Bible stories, nothing else really changed. My attitude was all about the things that I wanted and the things that pleased me. It was really all about me.
As a child and a teenager I tried to find happiness and security in friendships. I remember my life revolved around getting to play with friends and hanging out with friends through junior high and high school. All I really wanted was to be surrounded by friends.
Over time, many of those friendships failed and each time I was crushed because of the security and happiness that I found in those friends. As friendships began to dissolve I realized that these friendships were not the best place to find my happiness and security.
When I was 8 years old we were having special meetings at our church. The speaker that we had that year would paint a picture while he spoke. Every night that week he shared how we as people are sinful, meaning we go our own independent way and break our fellowship with God. Then the speaker told about how Jesus came to earth and died on the cross to pay the price for our sins. He explained how we can ask Jesus to come into our lives so that Jesus will forgive us of all the sins we have committed. I really wanted to make that decision, but I was scared. Later on that night, when my parents were tucking me into bed, they described more clearly what it meant to ask Jesus to come into my life. That night with my parents at my side I prayed and asked Jesus to come into my life and forgive me of my sins.
Growing up I heard about Christ from my parents quite often, especially since my dad was a pastor. I also heard many stories about Christ through Sunday School and vacation Bible school.
Before receiving Christ I was very worried about what other people would think of me if I asked Jesus into my life. I didn’t really know what my family and others around me believed and so I was worried about what they would think of me if i made this decision
Although I received Christ at this young age it really did not mean very much to me. The only thing I cared about was that I would go to heaven when I died. It wasn’t until high school that I realized that there was more to having Jesus in my life than going to heaven when I died. After attending church camp for several summers I found that it was about having a personal relationship with God. I began to see that although many of my friendships failed that God was my best friend and that my relationship with him would never fail.
Once I realized it was about having a relationship with God I began to spend time with him on a daily basis. After all the best way to get to know someone is by spending time with them. Each day I would spend time reading the Bible and praying. As I began to do this I started to understand God and his Word more and more.
My life has changed in so many ways since I have started to daily walk with the Lord and spend time with him. One of the ways my life has changed is that I have come to realize that God is where I need to find my happiness and security because his friendship is never going to fail me like friendships of this world. I have also handed my future over to God because I know that he has plans for my life that are far better than anything I could ever imagine.
Each day I am now motivated by the wonderful gift God has given me by allowing his one and only son to die on the cross to forgive me of my sins! God has given me such an amazing gift and that is why I have chosen to devote every day of my life to serving Him. I know he will always love me and be there for me no matter what.
At the age of five it seemed like a natural step to me to pray and ask Jesus into my heart. I have parents who are strong Christians, who had been praying that I would someday take that step since before I was born, and so at a five day camp we were having one summer I prayed and asked God to save me. At that time I sort of knew what I was doing; I knew I wanted to go to heaven when I died and that it was something that my parents and the people around me really wanted me to do.
As I grew and matured some I learned a lot more about what my decision to follow Jesus meant. I slowly came to see that Jesus was my Savior, that I was a sinner; that my lies, my fights with my siblings, my selfish desires and jealousy all kept me from God, but that he sent his son Jesus to die on the cross to pay the penalty for my sins, and that I had done all I needed to do to be saved by him when I had prayed and asked him to come into my heart and take my sins away.
I also learned more about making my relationship with Jesus personal. I started reading the bible and spent time talking to God and learned to really worship him. My faith became more my own, not my parents’ or my friends’ faith; it began to have personal meaning to me.
Throughout high school there were a lot of things that I felt were expected of me and I did a lot of trying to please people and measure up to their expectations. I worked to get A’s, to be a great violin player, to be a good daughter, to have lots of friends, but I never felt like I really got there, like I was good enough. There was always a “you could have done better here, why did you get that grade on that test… I worked so hard to please my parents and the people around me, but I never felt like I did, I could never earn that feeling of love and approval that I sought.
But not long after I graduated I realized that I didn’t need to work to earn that love and approval, that I’d had it all along. Not only had I been working to please my parents and the people around me, but I had been working to please God and hopefully make him love me more. I went to church, and camp and on trips and tried to read my bible often, but we don’t need to work to please God, that’s why there’s grace. Grace is God’s riches that he gives to us even though we don’t deserve them. There’s nothing I can do to make God love me more, and there’s nothing I could do to make God love me less. My best is good enough for him and I don’t need to prove myself to him. I should want to love and serve him, but that doesn’t change anything about how much he loves me, or change whether or not I’m saved. In the Psalms David says, “for you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb, I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…” This verse is a good reminder that I am how I am for a reason, that God made me that way, and he doesn’t make mistakes. I still strive to do well, to please and honor my parents and God, and to love others, and I still sometimes feel inadequate, but I can be content and know that no matter what I am still loved, accepted and saved.
Growing up, my life revolved around Church, my family, school, hockey, and my friends and these five elements have always driven me to succeed. My family and friends have always pushed me to do my best and picked me up when I was down. However, during my senior year, some of my friends stopped picking me up and started putting me down a lot.
During my senior year, I made the varsity hockey team but I almost never played. Along with that, some of my close friends started making poor decisions against my values, leaving me feeling like the odd man out. During all of this I knew Christ was with me, but I just didn’t know where. As the year went on, I was continually excluded from different events and treated poorly by some friends. This made me feel bad, but at the same time I knew I was doing the right thing by not giving in to peer pressure to make poor decisions and go against my values. The frustrating part was being limited to my family, friends who still cared about me, and God to turn and talk to. To me it seemed like nobody else cared about me or what I did.
By the time school ended I was ready graduate, and go to college where I would make new friends and start preparing for my future. However, I had to wait until August (when school started). During the summer, I was busy working full- time on the grounds crew at a golf course, umpiring baseball games during the evenings, and coaching softball on the side. Through all of this, I realized that God was simply showing me that I didn’t need praise from my peers, because the people who really care about me will always show it.
Once in school at NDSU, I started to pray more for God to come into my life and to lead me where he felt I should go. Once I started doing this, I felt better about myself and my past decisions. It did not take long for me to realize that God put me through my senior year to teach me that I can get through anything he puts before me. I also believe that my senior year made me stronger and built up my character immensely.
Seeing what God had done for me made me look back at my Bible verse that I picked back in my sophomore year. My selection was Psalm 18:28 which reads, “It is you who light my lamp; the Lord, my God lights up my darkness.” When I read this verse for the first time, I immediately thought of hockey because another term for scoring a goal is “lighting the lamp.” By thinking about the verse in terms of hockey lingo, it would read “It is You who scores my goals; the Lord, my God lights up my darkness.” To me, this means that God is behind all of our successes and He is there helping us during our struggles. At the time when I chose my verse, I had had lots of good times or “lit the lamp a lot” and hadn’t really had much darkness. But when my darkness came as a senior, God came in and lit the way for me through my family and by leading me to college at NDSU.
Most Christians have a turning point in their lives where they look back and say, “This is when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.” When looking back at my life, I never had one of those moments. Thankfully, Jesus has always been in my life (admittedly, sometimes more than others, but he’s always been there).
To put it into perspective, my life before Christ looked like this: I was a fetus in my mother’s womb and then I quickly advanced through my infant and toddler stages of life. I had not yet “accepted Jesus” into my life. I’m not exactly sure when I initially accepted Jesus, but we’ll say I was between the ages 5 and 8. At this stage of my life, I knew who Jesus was and what he had done for me—He was God, who came to earth as a man to die in my place to justify my disobedience to God. From that point on I’ve been a Christian. I practically lived at my church growing up, I was in youth groups at least once a week, and my non-biological family was made up of the members of my church. From the time I was born, I was encircled with hearing God’s word (the Bible). Whether it was through all the Christian music my family listened to, the Christ-loving people I grew up knowing, or the countless Bibles I received growing up, I was surrounded with Jesus.
Being a Christian through high school was easy for me. I was a fairly shy person, and the friends I did have were, for the most part, Christians as well. I coasted through high school. I socialized with people through small talk and brief encounters. I tried to live my life in a ‘Christian way’ as best I could. I tried to be nice to everyone. I ate lunch with people who ate by themselves. I helped struggling classmates with their schoolwork. On the Track and Cross Country team, I would try to introduce the younger runners to the older ones and make sure no one was left out. Not to sound full of myself, but when people talked about me they would say, “Yeah, Dan’s a really nice guy.” That is all people really knew about me. They knew I was a runner and a nice guy. And I was okay with that. It was comfortable for me to not let people too close.
Once I came to college, people no longer saw me as even a nice runner. They hardly saw me at all. That’s when I started to realize that being comfortable is not enough. I started getting out of my comfort zone; talking to new people and hanging out with people I had never met before. That’s when life started getting comfortable again. I would go to class, work, and hang out with newly acquired friends. However, this time there was something missing. I had lost my connection with Jesus. I no longer had my family and friends that kept me close with God. I needed to fall in love with Christ again.
Once again, I took a step out of my comfort zone and asked God to open me to his will. Within a month, I stumbled upon a Bible study in my dorm that encouraged me in my walk with Christ. I still may not know exactly what God’s will for me is, but I am now open to obeying it when it is clear to me. Not only did I open myself to God, I also opened myself to sharing God’s gift with others.
Although I never strayed too far from Jesus’ will thanks to the support of my wonderful family, I did stray. And it was through asking Jesus to help me find him again that I fell deeply in love with my Lord and Savior. Now, my hope is that people see Jesus in me–not just a nice person.
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