I can’t quite remember when this all started. I was really young… five years old or something like that. My family and I went to a church that stressed how it’s “not about works” when it comes to getting into this place called Heaven. “Sweet!,” I thought, “As long as I do good stuff and not worry about what kind of job I get, I’m set!” That didn’t work out too well. I was one of those brats in Sunday school who always liked to make disruptions and sing our church songs purposefully terribly because I thought it was the funniest thing ever (let’s not forget that I was still five). Later on, the whole notion of “getting saved” was something that sparked a conversation between my mom and me. She corrected me on my confusion about works, and it was there that I decided I wanted to start a friendship with God.
Immediately after my big decision, something happened to me and I didn’t even realize it. At such a young age, I had dedicated my life without even making the conscious thought. I cooperated with everyone, remained quiet during lesson time, etc., as though I had been doing it all my life. Sunday school teachers told my parents that I had changed. Then, when my parents praised me for what they heard, I was surprised. I had forgotten my past life before I knew Christ. It was as though God jump-started my life the moment that I accepted Him.
My excitement for Christ has only since grown, but the most significant growth periods for me has been during the times that I spent summers working at a Christian camp. A major thing to notice in the story of Jesus is that He almost always did miracles only when the people around him had faith that he could. I believe that this has not changed. My coworkers and I have seen remarkable things happen- unexplainable miracles and demonstration of God’s mighty hand at the camp! Each year I learn something new. During my first year, I learned how much more fulfilling it is to serve than be served. My second summer was an eye-opener for God’s protecting power. Summer number three taught me about being in constant adoration with my creator. Summer four: Trust and perseverance. Finally, my fifth summer working there awakened me to how much more I can learn about Jesus Christ. It changed my prayer habits and Bible reading.
For the longest time, I had wondered why I had such a change in my life the moment since I accepted Christ. I was sharing my testimony to a bunch of campers one day when it hit me. I think that God jump-started my life to protect me from something. I don’t know what; I probably never will until the day I meet Him. Until then, I can rest easy knowing that God is genuinely interested in my life, as He is everyone’s. He has great plans yet to come for everybody, and that’s exciting news!
“And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task that the Lord Jesus has given me- the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.” Acts 20:22-24.
I only had a few years under my belt before I personally asked Jesus to be a part of my life at age 5. I was a very quiet, shy girl growing up in a Christian home and elementary school. I had a pretty carefree life except for when it came to making friends. In Kindergarten, we played Captain Planet (I was Heart). Recess seemed to be the only time I was accepted in a group. I questioned, “Could it be because of my buckteeth or my love for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?”
At this early point in my life, my happiness came from the few friends I had and my imagination world. I didn’t really have siblings to play with. I was the annoying and considerably younger sister. Before I received Christ, I did not fully understand that I wasn’t experiencing true friendship.
One friend in Kindergarten invited me to her church’s Halloween party called a Hallelujah party. At the end of the event, they were talking about God’s love for all of us. They were saying that He sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross to pay for my sins – all the bad, selfish things I had done. They told us if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. Then, they asked if anyone wanted to come up and pray with them to ask Jesus to take away the grossness in their heart and live life with Him in it. Surprisingly, despite my shyness I went up and prayed, knowing I needed to make that decision.
I had heard all these things growing up; however, I never knew I was supposed to do anything with that knowledge. Through my parents, church, and my Christian elementary school I knew in my head Jesus loved me, but I didn’t realize he could be more than just head knowledge. He could take away all the wrong things I did in my bratiness, love me unlike any friend would, and live life with His help.
There was no audibal hallelujah chorus after I prayed for God to come into my life. And I didn’t return home and become the perfect child for my parents to raise. I hadn’t done a thing to deserve this unconditional love, but I just knew that I had made a very important decision. Sadly, it took me several years to realize my decision meant that God saw Jesus when He looked at me – not my sins. Or that I was guaranteed a place in Heaven forever someday. I prayed for God to come into my life countless times! Usually before I thought I was going to die in a storm!
Every year of life taught me more and more about what to do with my decision to follow Jesus. I still managed to be a pretty selfish child, however. Praise the Lord my parents had godly wisdom and continued to help me to become a God-fearing woman. They taught me to read and study the Bible, respect others, and work at everything as if I was working for the Lord.
When I was 11, I attended my church’s Bible camp. Up until this point, I knew God loved me, I knew He was in my life forever, and I knew I had made a decision to serve Him. However, that night I made a “grown up” decision to surrender my wants and fears and serve the Lord with everything in my life. I was done asking God into my life every shaky moment. He had already proved to me He had been faithful from the beginning and would continue to as I let Him guide my life.
This verse quickly became one of my favorite promises. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” Jeremiah 29:11.
As I gave things, like acceptance, up to the Lord and allowed Him to make me more like Him, I could see how he was using my childhood struggles to bless me. The more I grew in my identity in Christ, not in others, the more His confidence and love were becoming my foundation. I began making more and more great friends. It also gave me compassion to include other outcasts.
My story doesn’t contain many huge ups and downs. I have had my share of hardships including my mom going through cancer and me getting involved with the wrong men. But I praise God for sparing me from getting sucked into the unfulfilling things of this life. He has truly saved me from myself. There are countless “feel good” temptations surrounding me and my friends. But every single one of them ends in emptiness and heartache. My relationship with God has been the only unfailing and beneficial thing I can think of to pursue every day of my life.
I wish I could say I was perfect now after years of being a Christian. But I am far from it. I struggle daily with being selfish, prideful, and a busybody. But I KNOW that God has an awesome plan for me beyond my wildest dreams, loves me unconditionally, and will never leave me!
Who is God really? I can’t feel him; I can’t hear him; and I for sure can’t see him. Why would I need or want him in my life? This was my way of thinking when I was growing up.
I generally consider myself to be a logical person. I purchase things that are least expensive and try to do things in the most efficient way. Growing up, faith had always seemed like an illogical thing. Why wake up early on Sunday mornings and to go to church when you could sleep in? How could you ever really know that God is real? Despite going to church and being taught about God, these types of questions hindered my growth as a Christian. I wanted proof. Soon enough, though, I came to realize that faith was actually logical; it didn’t happen all at once, but has developed and grown over time.
For me, God is comparable to a skywriter (a little plane that flies around and leaves messages in the sky with it’s smoke). Though you may never actually see the plane, you can logically assume that it exists and has been in a certain place— based on the evidence it leaves behind (smoke). Based on this idea, I began to look for evidence or signs of God. At first, I only noticed little things that I could easily justify as just coincidence¬— getting an ‘A’ on a test that I had prayed about or God showing himself in some other little way. But soon it became evident that it wasn’t just chance or even luck… some higher power and planning were involved. For example, as a camper in the Boundary Waters, my canoe group got illegally wind bound on an island campsite with two other groups, but despite the seemingly dreary circumstances, we managed to have the most amazing night of the trip. We slept under the stars, saw three shooting stars, and there were no mosquitoes (a miracle in itself).
Amazing right, but being a skeptical person, I could have counted it all as coincidence, chance, or just luck. But… two years later, I was guiding my first trip into the Boundary Waters, and we got wind bound… on the same island… with two other groups… illegally. This time we were just on a day trip, though, so we didn’t have the supplies to stay the night. I was stuck on an island, without food or a tent, and I was responsible for eight campers. Without my previous experience, I might have panicked, but instead I had faith. I knew that it was more than luck to find myself in an almost identical scenario… God was at work; it is only logical. Knowing that God was at work was a great comfort; I could relax and know that all would turn out— which it did.
Many instances like this became apparent in my life and in the lives of others (when I looked for them). The evidence piled up, and with all the proof I could ever need, I rededicated my life to Christ (I had done it once before, when I was younger, but I hadn’t been old enough to completely understand). I simply told God that I believed in him and wanted him to be in charge of my life. Since rededicating my life to Christ, I have continued to learn more and more about God. The more facts I gather about him the more I appreciate how great and loving he really is. Though my life is by no means perfect and my faith is by no means mature, it has made an amazing difference to know that I am loved, forgiven, and accepted by a God who is more powerful than I can even imagine and knows me better than my closest friend. To want to know him better and do his will makes perfect sense.
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