Rebecca’s Story

My walk with God has been a very tumultuous one. I grew up knowing and believing in Him and understanding that Jesus Christ died for my sins, but there were many times when I just put Him off to the side. I prayed a lot growing up, but it was usually only if I needed something, and I would resent God if my prayers weren’t answered. I would later find out that God works on His own time, and He has a grand plan for my life that I will never really know- I just have to trust in Him.

My childhood was marked with a lot of fun memories, but also a lot of painful ones. All of my grandparents passed away by the time I was eleven, so I had to deal with death at a very young age. I knew that my grandparents went to Heaven, but I just didn’t understand why God took them one after the other and I was mad at Him for it. I should have been excited for them… finally meeting the Lord our Savior and spending eternity in paradise away from the pain and suffering in this world.

I have been blessed with a father, mother, twin sister, older brother, and a nephew. My parents love me very much and I couldn’t be happier with my life, but things haven’t always been so pleasant. Because of the way my dad used to treat my mom and us girls, I carried a lot of resentment and bitterness towards him. Our relationship was strained and I couldn’t even stand to be around my dad. There were times where I wanted to run away and never come back, and times when I felt so completely depressed and alone. I would pray to God at night, bawling and desperately searching for some peace and strength. He gave me strength, but I never acknowledged Him for it. I don’t remember once opening my Bible to look for answers. I gave God nothing and asked Him for everything. I never opened my heart to Him… part of me resented God and the other pleaded for His mercy… I was conflicted and so lost.

High school brought other struggles besides my relationship with my dad. I always felt like my friends didn’t care about me, and there was a lot of backstabbing and gossip. It was hard being a twin because I felt like I was constantly being compared to someone, and I felt like a failure compared to her. I ended up quitting sports and just working, and I had no real purpose in my life. Once my friends started to party, I felt left out and like I was missing out, so I started partying with them too. I never compromised my purity, but I compromised my integrity. We had some good times, but overall I just felt empty inside.

Jesus never gave up on me even when I turned my back on Him. It wasn’t until this year that I realized I needed to surrender my life to God and give Him everything. I re-dedicated my life to Christ at TC-X and nothing has been the same ever since. God has changed me, who I am now is not who I was. Christ is in my heart, mind and soul. Galatians 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” My resentment and bitterness towards my dad is gone, and my heart is filled with pure joy. I no longer listen to the lies of the world and I know that there’s nothing I can’t get through if I just ask God for help. He has shown me who I really am and where I am going, He has blessed me with wonderful new friends, He has mended my family’s relationship, and He is all I will ever need. Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.