Katie’s Story

I have always known of God. I knew who he was, I knew the stories, I knew he loved me, but I never understood how that was suppose to affect my life.

Before I truly accepted Christ, I was afraid of everything-way more than you can imagine. I spent too much of my high school life at home because I was afraid of the dumbest things: crowds, overwhelmingly large spaces, tight spaces, new people, loud noises, face paces, places with no easy exit, basically any situation where I could not be in control. My worst fear was the telephone, if I had to call someone I would pace back and forth and replay different possible conversations in my head to make sure I knew how to respond in every situation. Because of these fears I spent most of my time at home and became very introverted.

This introversion really bothered me and cut down my courage and self-esteem to nothing. It was just easier for me to spend my time alone because I knew I could handle that. The spring of my junior year in high school was when my fears really got the best of me, I went on a band/choir trip to NYC. Sounds fun right? False, remember all those fears: crowds, large spaces, tight spaces, new people, loud noises, face paces. New York was the absolute last place I wanted to be. For five days straight I was stuck in the hugest anxiety attack of my life, I completely shut down socially. But this experience made me realize something was undoubtedly wrong, there was no way I could live like this for another year.

All of this began to change the summer before my senior year of high school. My cousin, sort of out of the blue, invited me to a TEC (teens encounter Christ). I had no idea what it was, I knew it would be 5 hours away from home and I wouldn’t know anyone there. I was afraid to go, so I told her I didn’t want to go. She asked again and again, and the third time I thought about it, prayed about it and had this strange feeling. I wanted to go. So, to keep this short, I went to the TEC, faced my fears of all things new, learned a lot, cried a lot, and loved a lot. God showed me his love through all of these people I hadn’t ever seen before. It was the coolest thing, these people barely knew my name but they loved me, I hadn’t ever felt that before. It wasn’t until that TEC when I truly experienced God’s love.

Near the end of the TEC, we got into our small groups to prayer over each other. When it was my turn I tried to explain what brought me to TEC but I couldn’t stop crying. There was just too much love there, more love than I had ever felt before. That moment really confirmed to me that this life I was going to start with Christ was going to be the best decision I ever made.

After I accepted Christ into my life and learned to trust him, I realized I could do anything. I was almost immediately not afraid of anything anymore. Before I received Christ I knew I should go to college but I actually couldn’t see myself doing something so new like that on my own. Now I don’t know how I could live with all of those fears holding me down. I learned to trust God and now I can do almost anything.

Since that TEC I have had the courage to try so many new things. Most of them seem like nothing to the world, but for me they are huge steps towards completely giving my life over to God.

My fears do not control me anymore. I do not feel the need to control the situation because I have faith, I trust that God always has my back. As long as I’m listening to him I am doing the right thing.