Jake J’s Story

My name is Jake and I grew up in Rolla, ND, a town just twenty minutes from the Canadian border. My family was pretty regular. I had a mom, dad, and two younger brothers. I grew up going to church, whether I wanted to or not. The whole family would wake up Sunday morning and head out to a good old Sunday morning worship service. Sure, I believed in God. I believed that Jesus was real. I believed that Jesus was God.

Throughout most of my early life, my dad had cancer. His initial diagnosis, when I was about 5 years old, was that he did not have more than 3 months to live. Seven years later, when I was twelve, God took him from us. It was a tough situation, but my family and I had known he would die from cancer at some point in his life, so we were prepared for it. My father was a God-loving man and really a great man in general.

I made it through elementary school, but it was not easy. I was the guy that was picked on for being too skinny. It’s funny, looking back now, that I was actually bothered by this. Now everyone is trying to be as skinny as possible.

When my dad died, I realized who were my real friends and who were not. Those days following his death, everyone was nice to me. I knew deep inside that it was because of my dad’s death that they were doing this, and that it would change back to normal in a few weeks. I was right. At that point, I decided that I was not going to let it bother me and that I was going to stick with my REAL friends.

I was the typical high school guy, but at the same time I was not. I was in basketball, football, and track, but really was not as obsessed with sports as my friends. Actually, I would have had rather played video games than ever go to practice. Thinking back on it, I’m glad I had something else to do besides just play video games.

My high school friends all attended a church of some sort. The problem was that I was the only one that thought the teachings from the Bible should actually be upheld on a daily basis. Don’t get me wrong, I broke almost every single one of them by the time I graduated. But my point was that I believed in the Bible’s teachings. I once related my Christian beliefs to another friend who was attending a different church. She responded saying “I’m not Christian, I’m Catholic!” At that point, I realized that not everyone understood what being Christian meant. And neither did I.

Throughout high school there was rarely a time when I was not dating someone. I was the “whipped” guy. I never took into account the importance of dating someone who believed in my God. For some reason, God just was not a huge part of my life. I graduated Rolla High School with a class of just 34 in 2008. I decided to continue my education at North Dakota State University taking up Computer Engineering. I was definitely a nerd at that point in my life. I knew what I wanted, I knew what I enjoyed, and I had no idea how much of God I was missing.

When I went off to college, I was still dating my girlfriend of over one year. I was really excited to start this new college life. I decided to room with a friend I met over the summer. I had no idea that my new roommate did not believe in any god whatsoever. That was my first mistake in a chain of really bad decisions. The first week of college I was so excited to be out on my own. I was so excited I forgot to spend time talking to my old friends, family, and specifically my girlfriend. While I was out selfishly enjoying myself in my new found college life, my girlfriend was back at home missing me more than I could have ever known. She tried not to interfere with my fun for that week. I completely ignored her.

I did worse than that. I went out that week and cheated on her with some other girl that meant nothing to me in my life. That was the worst thing I have ever done to anyone in my life. The worst.

After my week and a half of the worst decisions in my life, it all hit me. My girlfriend called crying and missing me so much because I had hardly communicated with her. I sat on the phone thinking of how in the world I could ever tell her what I did to her. I sunk to one of the lowest points in my life that next month. I could not tell her. I reasoned in my mind that, if I ignored it for now and told her in a couple months, it would give me time to show her I just really really screwed up and that I changed.

A couple months went by. And in those months, I began to learn who God was. God showed himself to me. He showed me friends that were Christians. Before that point, I was hanging out with people that had absolutely no interest in who God and Jesus were. None at all. God showed me those friends, and showed me ways to learn more about him. I began to attend CRU on a weekly basis, then Chi Alpha (Christian organizations at NDSU). I joined a Bible study. I did not realize it at the time, but God was surrounding me with His comfort. Christians. Brotherhood.

Those months I lived a lie to my girlfriend and never told her what happened. I knew I had to get if off my chest. To make a very long story short, I told her one night, on the phone, because I was not able to go home at that point and it just came out. I can not explain the agony she went through for those next weeks. She could not talk to me. She could not even go to school like a regular person. It hit her harder than I could have ever imagined. And my whole idea that it would be better to wait backfired. That night, when she hung up the phone, I was at a new low. Even getting it all off my chest did not help. It made me sink lower. That is when God showed Himself to me more prominently than ever before. I did not know what to do after the call so I grabbed my Bible and just fell on the ground and opened it. Just opened it. To a random page. Somehow, that random page that opened was a verse that defined exactly what had happened to me and that I did wrong. Exactly. God turned to that page for me. To show me that I must learn from my mistakes. To turn from sin. The verse was Proverbs 7. The title said it all.

Warning Against the Adulteress
1 My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you.
2 Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye.
3 Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” and call understanding your kinsman;
5 they will keep you from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words.
6 At the window of my house I looked out through the lattice.
7 I saw among the simple, I noticed among the young men, a youth who lacked judgment.
8 He was going down the street near her corner, walking along in the direction of her house
9 at twilight, as the day was fading, as the dark of night set in.
10 Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent.
11 (She is loud and defiant, her feet never stay at home;
12 now in the street, now in the squares, at every corner she lurks.)
13 She took hold of him and kissed him and with a brazen face she said:
14 “I have fellowship offerings at home; today I fulfilled my vows.
15 So I came out to meet you; I looked for you and have found you!
16 I have covered my bed with colored linens from Egypt.
17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon.
18 Come, let’s drink deep of love till morning; let’s enjoy ourselves with love!
19 My husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey.
20 He took his purse filled with money and will not be home till full moon.”
21 With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk.
22 All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose
23 till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life.
24 Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say.
25 Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths.
26 Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng.
27 Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death.

I did not turn a page or two. I just opened my Bible and that is what was in front of me. At that point in my life, my belief in God changed. At the lowest, most pathetic time in my life, He was still there. He showed me He was there. Right in my dorm room with me. To keep this story short, that girl forgave me for what I did. I still cannot believe she did. I would never have done the same for someone else at that point. But she did. That relationship did not work out. I thanked God for showing me His power and forgiveness. I was getting closer to God than I had ever been.

This is where I am now. I am learning as much as I can about Jesus and his life on earth. I’m reading more than I ever have before. I learn every day. The more I read, the more I want to understand who God really is. The more I want to become closer to him. All of the experiences in my life have led up to this point. I am going through the most important part of my life in faith right now. I am learning how to praise God for everything He does in my life. I am learning to turn from the sins I committed. I am learning that if I place everything in His hands, He will provide. Just recently I learned how to allow the Holy Spirit to work in my life. The day after I told God that he can guide my life however He so chooses, I received a job offer for the summer that I accepted and now my summer plans are not so cloudy. I have learned that if you can just place God first before everything else, that “everything else” takes care of itself and you thoroughly enjoy life!